Damn i miss this place and i miss you folks. 2 more fucking weeks and am back here. Enough of hibernation. I want out! Frigging sems start from 2nd Nov. I dunno if i will be allowed to sit, coz my attendance is pretty fucking low. Life's pretty much hyper fucked up.
Came online after about two weeks. A lot has changed in the blog world. Gosh, TWL looks alien. Loads of newcomers, where the heck are the oldies.... Am yet to follow Rashi, Kaka, Heena and Pratsie's blog. Yet to make resolutions for the coming month. Yet to save some frigging money instead of wasting it around on beer and KFC. Yet to buy a couple of novels. Right now, i just wanna go someplace alone. Days are passed sleeping till 4 in the evening, then turning on the tv and watching some old fucking flicks.
Read Chetan Bhagat's '2 states'. A helluva book. Punjabi aur Tamilian's ki maa-behen ek kar di. Forgive my writing. Its not meant to offend people. But it did bring out the pro's and cons of different community's. Living in Chennai, i know! Oh, i know! Do anyone watch 'Dance Premier League'? Fuck..what the heck is that? Rip off of 'So you think you can dance?' Extremely pathetic India!
My lappy is working for a trial of 30 days. :P
Something like Windows Vista Ultimate Fatality 64! Dang! i need WINDOWS 7
I am missing out Smallville real bad. Nearly all my friends overtook me in FB games. Oh i will take revenge. Sweet revenge. Number one on the list - ESTHER!
Rose manages to surprise me once in a while by suddenly smsing. And then just like that, she vanishes again. God, if i meet her, i will hang her upside down! Hey, how was Diwali?
I had fun...will upload pics in a couple of weeks. Watched BLUE. Fucking worst movie of the year.
Anyways, signing off now....will write soon folks. Hope to return with a new blog look.
Staying at bro's place for a couple of days. Booze, bhabi ke haath ka khana...aah bliss..
Love you loads,
(no am not GAY)
regards,
FL
The days of my life are zipping past me at such an unnatural pace that it has become quite impossible to stand up on my own legs oncee i have buckled down. No matter the immense support that i can feel all around, sometimes i have to do things alone.
A lonely loner alone.
Mistakes of my past are catcvhing up to me and i can only postpone the inevitable as much as i can. Before long i will be overwhelmed and when that day, that moment announces its arrival i will make sure i don't drag anybody along with me. It has been nearly a month now since the time i last came online and it might well be another 2-3 months before i grace the blogworld again. Blame it on the pressures that threaten to engulf me or blame it on me for not taking care of issues i should have dealt with long ago.
Somebody asked me not long back....how serious was i regarding my future. 3 years back, i would have been scratching my head or trying to avoid the question. Today... i still try to avoid the question, but my mind is made up about the next step. And when the next question is what have i done towards it.... i just clamp up! I mean how do i answer that? I have sown the seeds, i am monitoring it....just give it time....it will reap. That is all i ask.
Camellia... of all people, blasted me for being so insensitive towards my life, my fucking future. I can't shout back at her. She wouldn't understand unless she was in my shoes. Some people might wonder what kick i get out of whining about my problems in something so public as a blog. To them i would just say, am not here to find solutions. This is my own space and my life has always been an open book.
50 years down the line, if i still manage to wake up every morning, it would be a helluva experience reliving my wonder years through this blog. By laughing at my own pathetic writing or by threating to tear off my hair by reading those non-sensical suicide posts (as Abby and Nusrath says) or even maybe by teaching my grandkids (if that is entirely possible) about how i stood up every time i fell.
LIFE is one bloody expensive ticket to VEGAS. You buy it, you get burned. You don't, you miss out the fun.
There is a consequence for every action. The only way to live through that is to accept it and not look back. Coz when the night fades, dawn beckons...
FL
