This may very well be the last post of mine in this blog. Or it may not be. But for the first time the chances of the blog being closed is paramount. My life... i have seen a lot in these last 22 years, gone through a lot, enjoyed a lot, lived my life fully. But the only thing that was constant in my life for the last 5 years is no more. 


Amidst this spiraling orbit of mine, Maddy has been only constant one in my life. I have seen people come and go, tragedies pass and come, love shared and lost and in all those times she has been like a shadow. Always by my side, comforting me at times, fighting with me at other times. But always together. We always had this knowledge that we can never be separated, never be apart. And then last night, we broke up. 
Yes we talked about breaking up before, millions of times before. But somewhere in our heart's we always knew that it wasn't supposed to be. But why doesn't it feel the same this time?? This time it feels its over. Really over. And that thought is terrifying.


When i met her 5 years ago, i had no idea that she would be the one i would eventually fall for. I was just ditched by my ex for some other guy that time. I tried everything. It didn't work out. Maybe i should have tried more. But i don't regret it anymore. I met Maddy. Its been more than 3 and a half years now that we have been a couple. 18th Jan,2006.... Maddy finally said YES to me! And since then, we have passed every obstacle together. Today, without her, i don't feel like living anymore. She has moved on. She can live without me, she made that clear. But me? I have already given my heart to her. Its for her to care for it or squish it. But one thing is clear as crystal to me, it won't belong to anyone else. I have lived my share of life. This second break-up is the last.


Its her birthday in a few days. 18th sept. We would have completed 3 years and 8 months by then. I will keep trying till her bday. I don't think she would want me anywhere near her that day, but i will try i know that. I can only sacrifice some things. I can't give up the world. I am, after all a human. The price of being in love is sometimes so high that it forces you to stay between a rock and a hard place. I may not be the best guy out there for her, but i have loved her more than the bestest guy. Sometimes that's not enough. I don't blame her. I blame myself for being me. 


I doubt i would survive this.


Anyways folks, this blog won't be updated anymore. Not until she is back or not until a long time. I thank you all for following my shitty life till now. 


Until the miracle happens,
its FREELANCER a.k.a Mridu
wishing you an awesome life ahead...


Love you loads friends...

15 heartbeats:

Aarthi said...

Hey Mridzyy,

I just don't know what to say right now. I am completely shocked!!

I never thought this would come... I know how much you love Maddy and I always prayed never to see this day! :(

Grasshopper... things will be fine (It feels awful when am saying this... because I know it might take a lifetime!!)... but I still pray that she comes back!

Maddy, if you're reading this... He really loves you yaa... come on, don't do this to him! Please??

FL, take care yaa... and am always around! *HUGS*

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

aarthi has said it all..

i am totally heartbroken after reading this.. :(


Rane

yaar, you take care..

Girl Next Door said...

I would not say anything to console you coz I know how you feels after break up. Have been through the same situation.. So, just one thing, take care ...

Kaka said...

i will just say take care...since u really love her she will come back..:)

Abby said...

sounded more like a suicide note.......lolz.......hey u ass........wat did ya do this time to piss her off??? and chill.....shit happens in life......eventually everythin gets back to the way they were......so jus give her sometime to cool off.......girls generally OVERDO all these frm time to time......trust me.....i ave had my share of this.....so jus chill wit a lager and a fag

Aarthi said...

Abby is right FL...girls OVERDO things many-a-times!

Give her time, she'll be back! :)

Hugs...

Samadrita said...

Well I'm quite sorry to hear about what happened.I donno whether you'll patch up with your girlfriend or whether it's really over this time.But what I can say is no matter what life goes on.You can quit maintaining a blog but can you stop living?
This is not the end of the world.So don't say you'd never update this blog again.
Cheer up!

Abby said...

@arthi.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally a girl excepting the truth :p lolz

naz said...

take care yar...and trust me..even she cant liv wid ot u k....cheer up.....she really would be wantin u 2 be wid her on ehr b'day...best wishes...!!!!!!

Aarthi said...

@ Abby,

Well, not all girls are the same... and not all girls are scared of accepting the truth! :)

There is no harm in accepting what is right! :D

Anonymous said...

Hey....sad t ohear about this...dont know much about u..but definitely after reading this..I can sy u love her a lot ..lot..lot.... Give some time n i hope things would be fine....

But wat I dint like abt ur post ws that u said this time it would be the end..ur second break-up.. well things shouldnt be so..I believe... Life has to move on... n so u too hv to move along.. Be positive is all wat I would say.....!! :)

Cyaa soon....

Eyeshadow said...

ya ya he is gonna b positiv!!!u dnt hav to wori abt him so much...whoever anonymous u r...

Abby said...

@madz............


he he he........we knw he will be fine......many times its the girl who is a dramaqueen........but in this case its dat dimwit who is the dramaqueen.........more like dramaking !!

Eyeshadow said...

@ abby....thanx...atleast smbdy understood his plight...hw sad of mmr.dramaking!!!but im hopelessly in lov with this dramaking!!!cant help!!!

freelancer said...

@ eyeshadow
nautanki :P

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