7th day of fasting. They gloominess that had once settled is slowly lifting. Though people still remind of the good ol' days, its nice to see my cousins wearing a cheerful smiling face on them all the time. Even though i hear them weep occassionaly at night, there is little i can do to ease their pain.

When one part of your heart dies, when you lose a parent, these things take time to recover. I am more proud of them because they are so strong after losing both their parents. I hope i do not have to face that day soon. But death itself is inevitable and permanent.

Well everything seems to be falling back to normal as of now. The food i am allowed to eat is actually making me healthy. Thank God for Ghee, which is a must. Very soon, i will be again flexing my muscles. My cousins tease me that on the tenth day i have to cut my oh-so-long hair :( yeah!! My preciousness will be lost. But i can manage that. The only bad thing here is the lack of internet i get. No damn network. Also the constant flow of visitors drive me crazy. I go and say hello and then gape like a retard 'coz evidently i have nothing else to talk about and they have nothing else to ask.

Anyway, all's well that ends well. oh wait, nearly gave Dad a cardiac arrest, when flipkart home delivered my novels. Total bill was above 4300. Thank God, he's home and am not near him :P

So, that's about it till now. People are asking me to go shower and i have been managing to postpone till now. Can't anymore. *sigh*

Stay safe. Until next time,
its FL signing off

The morning started bright and then the collapse began. I didn't sleep the last night. Yep, finished off a book by 6am and then went to bed after a quick smoke. I woke up to my Aunt urging me to have food as we had to rush to the hospital. 2 minutes after lunch, mom rang up to say he passed away and that she and dad were on their way to meet us.

I was expecting it, but not so soon, not so sudden. I was the only guy in the family name so it was upto me to pay the last rites. And its scary. Its scary and its so hard to see someone lying lifeless. Someone you adores and loved more than anything.

Anyway, i hope his soul is in peace. I was happy to see him smiling before he departed. Heavy thoughts cloud my mind. I will blog later

Till then,
its FL signing off

Life is fickle. 

What do you to when you see someone slowly dying away in front of you and yet you and the rest of the world cannot do anything about it. How do you look at that fighting face and say , 'give up' coz even the Gods have betrayed us. How do you hold on to the memories and fight back tears as the days close by? And yet, we try to be strong. We laugh it off and we try to be strong. For what??? For a few last dying moments of happiness?? Is it worth the pain that's swelling up in the heart. Is it worth the lie you utter do your loved one who will no longer be a part of your living world soon? Or is it better to love them by letting them know that time and fate is not with us. 

Humans are fickle. And Relatives are the most dangerous humans ever.

I have learnt not to care. Not about anyone. Because in the end, you will realise, the only time people will love you unconditionally, it will be when you are in your death bed. If you are lucky, you might not even face to see the false tears. If we can't even assure ourselves of love from our own blood, be assured that the rest of the world will be after your blood one way or the another.

Stuck in Jorhat. My dad's elder bro is in a critical condition. I say stuck because i want to get out of here. I am tired of hearing people say why wasn't i here before. Am tired of hearing them bitch about my parents and me. And these are the people who are unfortunately my relatives.

Going out to have a beer later. JUDGE ME?? I don't give a rat's ass now.

Thought for the day is - "Hold me close and let the world collapse"

Song dedication. Yes, i want songs now too. "November Rain" by GNR. Yeah, kinda suits the feeling.

See you later

Surprised much? Me too. 

Two days in a row is almost a rarity. But i guess i have to stick to something for atleast two days, right? Yeah, so am majorly pissed. You wanna know why? Ofcourse you don't wanna know! Who the heck even reads my blog these days. Anways, am pissed with my so-called friends. See, they know i am here okay. And they are supossed to meet me na? What's the spelling of supossed again? supposed?? oh anyway, no one bothers to even meet up> Nice friends i have. *sigh* So, i will be going for a movie tommorrow. Alone. Yep.

Well, i was about to do that today itself. The movie thingy i mean, but mom decided to wake me up at around 2pm. Wait, that wasn't mum, it was Maddy! Anyway, so that meant no breakfast and hell no lunch! i dont like heavt heavy stuff in mah tummy as soon as i wake up. Dad came for lunch, gave me a dissapointed look lol and went back to office while i crawled around in the bed. Its hard to please my dad, i swear.

Anyway, checked Flipkart. Yay, 3 books have reached. But i will probably go and get it myself. i dont trust their home delivery guy much. Anyway, i realised i say anyway a lot more than i should. So, had momos in the evening. Technically if it aint pork, i dont call it momo, but since there was no pork i had to settle down with chicken. Staying at home has resulted in less smoking :| yeah, i hate not being able to smoke.

You lot, i have started a new book review blog okay. So be nice and follow me there plicccchhhhhh..

Until the sun sets, its FL signing off

Okay so i have decided to be generous. And also smart. That means from now i will be actually reading blogs daily, instead of reading it in one go and not commenting on any post.

Yes, that's what i have decided. For the time being. Anyway, life at home is pretty mundane. The only thing keeping me sane is the amount of novels i have managed to order from flipkart right under my dad's knows. Around 15 of them, yes you heard it right. And now i do not think that was such a bright idea, because it looks like i might need to buy a new mobile. My BB, my darling BlackBerry is on the throes of death itself.

How, why, do not ask me! So now i am in a dilemna as to what the heck should i do. Today has been exceptionally tedious. Woke up around 2 pm. The only thing i did was to manage finishing an entire novel since morning. Yes people, i finally finished reading the epic 'Sword of Truth' series. Well that's the only thing i do. Yeah took bath too, which i so overtly managed to avoid yesterday. *Sigh* can't fool mom twice

Okay bhai log, that's it for today! woot woot
Catch you later, alligator


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